“Emotions don’t need ‘fixing’ they only need expressing”. Andrew Verity
I want to add some explanations so you can understand what I mean by it.
Following in our journey in learning about the Survival Code I last mentioned the Physical Defense and the implications it has for our experience in life. Now I will expand on my opinions on the Emotional Defense Response and hope this expands your awareness of emotions and what you can and can’t do with them.
The most important term to understand regarding your emotional reactions is ‘Suppression’. More than any other area of life, suppression of emotional expression is the most dangerous. Why? The reasons are pretty clear.
The energy we use to keep emotions suppressed is enormous. We just cannot keep suppressing the emotions indefinitely because we just don’t have that much energy.
The suppression of emotions and the resultant energy drain takes energy away from basic necessary life functions. Yes, the things that keep us alive have to keep going. No energy = no quality which leads to dysfunction and eventually, to no function.
So what your subconscious does is try to express your emotions that may have been suppressed (or you believe others have suppressed in you) via different emotions. It is so common for a person to believe they are angry (which is socially unacceptable) while actually they may be feeling frustrated or resentful or impatient, and the list goes on.
Your subconscious is aware when you suppress emotions because it has to adjust to the energy change. But it still has the job of expressing the emotional energy.
Why do we have to express emotions?
Firstly the expression helps us to better identify our relationships with other people. Suppress the emotions and those relationships become at best unclear and at worst a lie.
Secondly, the unexpressed emotions go back down into our bodies and create what the Chinese would call, ‘Perverse Chi’ which damages organ function and recuperation if it continues long enough.
Eventually this compensated emotional pattern can damage your heart and your ‘Shen’.
This is where we see mental anomalies occur and people start thinking wrongly. There is plenty of insanity in society and most of that comes from the effect of suppressed emotions.
You keep your values moving and growing as long as you keep expressing your values.
What does all this have to do with Emotional Defense Responses?
When you feel threatened it is not just at a physical level. You can be even more motivated by emotional abuse than physical. So you learn to use a select group of emotions to ‘protect’ the real you. Eventually you may even forget what the ‘real you’ is like because of all the attention we put onto those ‘other’ emotions.
Emotions are like a language, we speak in a certain language to define who we are at any given time but in a way that reflects the values we live by.
How many emotions are there?
12, 50 147? Maybe more or less but there are actually only about 6 emotions that any one person will always come back to. These are controlled and initiated by the Amygdala in the brain. Don’t worry, that’s its job. You don’t have to know what or where it is, just to know that there is a place in the brain devoted to regulating these primary emotions.
So if we are really only basing our emotional life on 6 emotions, then why do we feel all the other emotions at different times?
This is the smoke screen we have developed to hide our real emotions from attack or scrutiny from others.
Does that mean that most of what we feel is not true? The answer is yes.
The emotions we feel most of the time are a smoke screen to hide the real ones. We spend so much time practicing fake emotions that we forget what the real ones are.
We need to change the fake ones to get to the real ones and express them. This is why you can ask yourself this question when you are feeling emotional about something or someone: “What did I feel before I felt ………?”
Then ask the same question of the answer and repeat this until you can’t go any further. You have probably found a primal emotion. Now you are at the point of expressing that emotion in the best possible way.
But wait, why would you have to ask yourself to find the deepest emotion?
Well, because we learn how to cover up emotions and use the superficial ones as defences for the deeper ones. So associated to all those emotions are strategies to avoid and deny the real ones.
To change the strategies as well as the emotional responses you will need to get the Stress Relief Strategies Revealed book and use the techniques I have written there. These will not only get your brain to change to better responses but do it by choice rather than by defense.
I know, you want to know what the 6 core emotions are, don’t you?
Before I tell you that, there is something I want to say about fear. Fear is considered an emotion. This is not completely true. Fear is actually a mixture of emotions and mental patterns of survival. It cannot be truly described solely as an emotion. A large component of fear is the perception that is being maintained which is a mental function not an emotional function.
It is true that fear is one of the responses controlled by the Amygdala, but that’s because the amygdala regulates the survival responses along with other parts of the brain. It does not just regulate emotions, although most of what it does in emotional.
OK the emotions are as follows:
Fear. As I already mentioned is not purely an emotion, try False Evidence Appearing Real.
Guilt. A powerful motivator to not do something.
Rejection. Leads to lack of safety.
Rage. Uncontrollable anger.
Grief/Abandoned Deepest sorrow.
Hate. The active repulsion of love.
Emotional defense is the second of The 4 Main Defenses. The next article will be on the most damaging of these four, the Mental Defense. Until then, enjoy.
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