A wonderful story was written by Hans Christian Anderson called “The Shadow”. The star of the story is the theme for this article. The shadow began to have its own life, its own desires and eventually to over the life of the man who had the shadow.
The shadow took his money, his wife, his pleasures and turned them into ruins. It was a fatal story until the man realized he could take back his life.
Carl Yung had an equivalent ‘Shadow’ he referred to as the Alter (negative) Ego. In our work in Neuro-Training we spend some time dealing with this very powerful mental defence and call it the ‘Negative Self’.
It’s a very interesting event in human neurology to realize that you can’t find a solution to something you think you should have a solution for. Babies are the centre of the universe until they reach somewhere around 30 years old. Seriously, children are ego centric until about 7 years old where they start to accept there are other opinions they need to pay attention to.
During those early years or even in utero, there comes a time when the child experiences a state where they believe they should be in control but can’t be at the same time. This creates in them a great fear and possible pain or even fear of pain.
It becomes the motivation to do something drastic to find a solution to this situation. Their solution is drastic but common to all humans. They create Another Self to take the pain and or fear and leave them free from the dreaded shame of not being able to find an answer.
The result is a perception of another self that is an exact reproduction of them. It has to be to take on the pain and fear so completely as to leave none of it for the person. The new self takes on the pain and fear and stress and whatever else it has to, to alleviate the trauma.
(No matter how small it may be).
The person feels better and therefore has found a solution to the trauma. Ah success, but at what cost?
While we are small the ‘Other Self’ is also small. But as we get more skilled at being stressed and fearful, it becomes stronger to deal with the extra pain. It gets bigger, more aggressive and at some point will start exercising its ability to make you do what it wants.
You see, this other self has a reason for living, to take your pain and stress and fear. It must have these things to justify its existence so if you don’t give it enough of these things it will motivate you to do something that will create more of these. Its energy is stress its diet is the Fear and Pain cocktail.
Just think of someone in your life where everything seems to be going along just fine, then, !BANG! everything falls apart. Isn’t that strange? Ever wondered how the subconscious of a person would do that when things are great?
Well the other self, now stronger and more powerful, is rightfully called the Negative Self because of all the negativity it can and will produce to have something to live on.
Your negative self knows what you know, it shares the same subconscious and it has access to your worst nightmares. It can manipulate you through fear, it can create wonderful things in your life so it can take them away later. It does this to keep a minimum store of negative energy to live on.
In our Advanced Neuro-Training workshops we teach a process that destroys the Negative Self and allows all that stored energy to be freed for the use of the person.
Your negative self does NOT want you to know it is there.
Even if it s very strong, it will ever openly show itself unless it thinks you will not be alerted to its presence.
Want to know why?
It knows you made it, and it also knows you are the only one who can destroy it. And destroy it you must. Just visualizing its destruction is not enough, there must be a neurological change to ultimately remove its affect.
It starts out as a figment of your imagination. We find references for it in our chromosomes, we then connect it to our fear spiral (see the article on Fear Spiral) and eventually feed it with the accumulated stress we produce over time.
Sounds all a bit way out doesn’t it? Yet I have witnessed with my own eyes, little old ladies throwing fully grown adult men around the room as if they were made of cotton. Of course, it wasn’t the little old lady but her Negative Self that was doing all the work. This was during a workshop aimed at destroying the Negative Egos of the attendees.
A negative self is a master of defense and will use anything to defend itself, even from being discovered by you.
We take our students through a three stage process to destroy the Negative Self safely and effectively. The last stage of this process is to visualize the Negative Self and destroy it so it can never come back. But even at this stage of the process it still knows what you know and will try to deceive you into believing something it can use to escape destruction.
Some examples; A women was looking for her negative self in her visualization. She came through the whole process believing she had no negative self to destroy. When I asked what she did see, she replied “only a little baby in a crib. That couldn’t be my negative self”.
I took her back into the visualization and told her to take the mask off the baby. She was horrified by what she saw and realized it was the negative self and she was then able to destroy it completely.
Another example was a women had ‘destroyed’ her negative and afterwards had developed and ‘Fairy’ that sat on her left shoulder telling her things to do or not do. Ideas that never worked out and sometimes things that were straight dangerous. I told her to go back into the visualization and destroy the ‘Fairy’. She did and reported afterward more energy and clearer thinking. (The fairy hasn’t been seen since)
I have many, many stories about what happened when people were attempting to destroy their negative selves.
The fact is that your Negative Self is a crucial factor to your success in life. It has to go and it has to be done properly. Once you are free of your major negative self, there could be smaller ones develop later, especially of you leave your Survival Code active. This is the fastest way to create a new Negative Self.
After the destruction people report a range of changes from more energy, better thinking, motivated again and a million other adjectives to describe what happened. What really happened is you went back to being normal.
It’s unfortunate but true that while someone has an active Negative Self, they are not real people. Most people you do business with are probably not real people. Some you can identify easily as having dominant negative selves and others are more subtle. Until you and your associates have taken steps to destroy their Negative Self, there will always be the potential for something or someone to go terribly wrong.
The good news is that when it’s gone, you can celebrate the freedom that comes from being yourself. Productivity increases, changes occur that would never have happened otherwise and finally but not least, you get to find out who you really are again.
Look for Blueprint One workshop from Neuro-Training. Its here we train your brain to be able to destroy the negative self completely.